THE VOICE: How to become more confident

written by Sylvia Njoku

Confidence or being confident is related to self-assurance, the expression or feeling of certainty. Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle – people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

Most people tend to lack self-confidence;  it could be confidence to tell someone how they feel, confidence to render a speech to a congregation, or confidence to 'defend' a written work (seminar or project). However, whatever the case, confidence is an essential part of life and it is a trait everyone should possess because without it, one maybe limited if not totally restricted from certain things.

The good news is that self-confidence can be learnt and developed. And whether you are working on your own self-confidence or others around to you, it is well worth the effort. Here are some steps one can take to become more confident in whatever one set out to do, or achieve.

Find something you are good at and keep improving

You become a better person when you master your skill, this boosts your confidence because you will be sure of your capability when it comes to your discipline.

Adopt a positive mindset and avoid negativities

That Mr. A ventured into a particular field and failed does not mean you cannot succeed in that area. Believe you can do it, tell yourself you can be better, and work towards achieving it. Stay positive. By all means, be optimistic!

Maintain eye contact with people when talking to them

This has a way of boosting self-confidence. When you maintain eye contact with someone you are talking with, you gain balance and you won’t easily be swayed.

Stick to your principles

This helps in building your stamina when it comes to dealing with people. You get to stand for a particular thing and it gradually becomes ingrained in you.

Avoid perfectionism

We learn from failure, not success. Mistakes are not such a bad thing, but you must be smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. Perfectionism results when you try to do things without fault or mistake. This paralyses and also keeps you from accomplishing a set out goal.

Recognize your insecurities/Overcome shyness

Many insecurities, fears, and doubts stem from lack of understanding or lack of knowledge about something. The more you understand and know something, the more comfortable you will be, thus the less power your shyness will have over you. What makes you feel uncomfortable? What makes you feel shy? Identify this trait and when you do, work on it. This will go a long way in the improvement of your self-confidence.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Why think less of yourself? We all cannot be the same. Quit trying to be like someone else. You are a unique being, there is no other exactly like you. Love yourself and love what you do.

Do not feel intimidated

Do not feel despondent when it seems like your peers are ahead of you. Keep at what you do and strive to be the best you can.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that when we learn and work hard in a particular area, we will succeed; and it is this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setback.

As long as you keep stretching yourself (but not too much), you will find your self-confidence building apace. What's more, you will have earned your self-confidence because you have put in the hard graft necessary to be successful.

Sylvia Njoku writes from Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
ndysylvia@gmail.com

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